I’ve always seen myself as a relatively undisciplined person, someone who could wrangle myself into structure for a while only to slip back into some form of degeneracy. I could use willpower to force myself into a regimen, but eventually that force would exhaust itself and collapse into old patterns.
So, when I found myself entering my fourth hour of sādhana the other day, it dawned on me: I’ve actually become disciplined! And it didn’t happen in the way I expected. I imagined discipline would come from developing a will so strong it could overpower every base urge into permanent submission. However, what is emerging feels less like override and more like coherence.
Over time through sādhana, more and more parts of me have come on board, simply by opening to experience. The pleasure of a sharper mind, the sweetness that moves during pūjā, and the cheerfulness of a more open heart create their own momentum. Discipline is coming less from battling myself, and more from giving in to what I truly want.
I am learning that discipline is not an act of domination. It is a state we arrive at when our will is aligned with itself.
This is where yin-style practice comes in. Yin cultivates a non-efforting stance, a willingness to not fight ourselves, and to let everything be as it is. Returning to practices that invite openness has helped me notice and soften some of the internal management strategies that keep me divided and working against myself.
Yin also teaches me to open to support. In yin āsanas, I feel the support of props and the earth beneath me. In somatic inquiry, I can also tune into more subtler forms of support, feeling the guru maṇḍala at my back. Developing an embodied practice of non-resistance has enabled me to experience this support as tangible and readily accessible.
What has accelerated this unwinding and coherence is the Lakṣmī sādhana so generously shared with us by our Śri guru, Saundaryāmbikā. Learning to work with the Śri Suktam is part of this opening to Lakśmī’s flow. As I move through the āsanas, the parts of me that are caught in dryness, asuric tendencies, or old survival patterns rise to the surface and are bathed in the beautiful vibrations of the chant. It feels like the nervous system is receiving a profound update.
If any of this sounds interesting, SI offers weekly āsana classes that include yin-style sequences with the auspicious vibrations of the Śrī Sūktam. Everyone who attends these classes, or takes the SI Śri Sūktam Self-Study course has the opportunity to experience this absolutely magical opening to Lakśmī. Come experience it for yourself.
-Bhāgya (Sam)
Student of Saundaryāmbikā
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Śri Sūktam Self Study Course Link
Here is a Free SI āsana class led by Bhāgya. Enjoy!